and I like porridge so I do. The race this time is 1mile and 2furlongs so that yellow line in the bottom right is horsehoe shaped as opposed to straight and it has little red bands for when they’re going over a fence and Stardumb takes off like a feckin rocket. He’s a good three lengths clear at the first fence and the other horses don’t know what’s hit them. I’m thinking meself and Michelle will get married and Mary Ryan can be maid of honour. With me winnings the three of us will settle in Abu Dhabi were clothes dry on the line in four minutes flat on account of the heat.

The race continues and the numbers bob up 6,3,5 and 6,5,4 and 6,4,5 and now I’m thinking feck you lucky Number Four don’t take away my porridge loving Stardumb and then its 6,11,4 and I’m thinking