“What do you mean?” Awake now, neutral.

“One of my lads just brought me this poster about a new comedy club opening Monday. Being opened by you. Half the people I know have been fliered about the same thing.”

“Good news all around! I hope you’re free Monday to come along?”

Silence on the phone. He’s thinking. Expect tone change.

“ Listen. I’ve heard good things about you. So far. This is a very, very small town.”

“And I can’t wait to bring this wonderful town my new comedy club.” At this stage I am jumping up and down in my squelching runners, smiling inanely, trying to sound happy and enthusiastic.